• Audra Oakes

Out with the old, in with the new

I am in the process of selling my once full and happy home. Even if you have never been married or in my position, you could imagine this is not a pleasant experience.

As a single parent to a five year old whose care rests majorly on my shoulders, I have been struggling to be there for my child in every possible way that I desire to be. As a Mother I desire to be a rock in every situation my child may face and whether or not it is a achievable or reasonable, we as mothers will endeavor to be everything our children needs. In addition to this dilemma, I have a home that I am slowly repairing due to the damage and failure of my previous relationship.

I have the challenge of keeping my home looking like a Pinterest board to peak the interest of possible buyers. With a child who loves to create and pluck new worlds out of her imagination to place squarely on the living room floor it can be a tiring and continuous process but this is not the most challenging circumstance I have been facing.

The end of my relationship with my spouse and lover plunged me into a hard grieving process that I managed to mess up. The "anger" stage seemed to rebound a few times because I found it too hard to deal with the overwhelming sorrow and depression. Funnily enough, as I begin to embrace this "sorrow" stage, I am feeling better. It's like the "acceptance" stage has begun simultaneously.

With this has come a hope of healing and eventually, letting go completely of what was, and what will never be, for what could, and what will be. There is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel as I get my home, physically, emotionally and spiritually into order.

This is the take home point. We cannot undo the past mistakes of our lives. We cannot keep the people we love or force them to fight for us when challenged. We can only decide who we will be on the days things don't go as we hope and hope for a better future.

Here's to whatever the future holds.

#newyear #resolutions #old


©2018 by Audra Oakes